Privacy Need Not Apply
by Omnicat
Summary: Hei and Pai spent their entire puberty joined at the hip, bunking together, or both. Something had to give eventually.


**Title:** Privacy Need Not Apply

 **Author:** Omnicat

 **Spoilers & Desirable Foreknowledge:** Tensai Okamura & co's _Darker than Black_ anime.

 **Warnings:** Dumb sex joke fic about the Westermarck Effect.

 **Characters & Relationships:** Amber x Hei & Pai

 **Summary:** Hei and Pai spent their entire puberty joined at the hip, bunking together, or both. Something had to give eventually.

 **Author's Note:** I REGRET NOTHING.

 **II-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-I-oOo-I-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-II**

 **Privacy Need Not Apply**

"Everybody thinks you're having sex in here," Pai announced out of nowhere.

Hei flinched, thumbs digging viciously into the knots he'd been working out of Amber's back; Amber cried out obscenely and arched her shoulders off the bed for a long moment, mouth open and eyes scrunched shut, before melting back into the bunk, panting and trembling.

"Comes with the territory, I'm afraid," she said, chuckling with some difficulty. "But no, not right now."

"Amber!" Hei hissed.

"Ew," Pai deadpanned. When Amber looked up and back with watering eyes toward the tent opening where Pai stood, the girl was smiling at her brother. "Just thought you'd like to know. I'll tell the others. They didn't believe me before." Then, looking at Amber: "What have you got to be so tense about, anyway?"

"All the months it's taken off my life to keep you two from dying horribly lately."

"Oh."

That was enough to make even an all-Contractor conversation a little awkward. Hei, poor sensitive human he was, sat back on his heels and stilled his hands, his warm, calloused fingers curved around her ribs.

Pai ducked noiselessly out through the tent flap, and moments later they heard her say, loud enough for the whole camp to hear: "They're not having sex! It's a massage. Pay up."

"You better share those winnings with us!" Amber yelled after her.

" _Amber,"_ Hei growled.

"What? It's probably just O'Connor spoiling her with his chocolate rations again."

Every human on base knew never to bet against a Contractor, after all; Contractors didn't bet unless they knew they had nothing to lose. O'Connor included, but he had a fatherly soft spot for girls that could've been his daughter that he was happy to let Pai exploit.

Hei withdrew his hands from Amber's back. "That's not it. Why would you even joke about us? She's not stupid, she'll figure it out."

"She figured it out months ago. Continue, please."

"No. What do you mean months ago?"

"She's the only one, if it makes you feel better."

"It doesn't."

Amber detected a strong urge to roll her eyes. Sure, his human sensibilities were part of the appeal, but sometimes, _sheesh_. Delicate.

But there was a note of upset in his voice when he spoke next that made her pause.

"We never even kissed around her unless she was asleep."

Frowning, Amber pushed up on her elbows and looked over her shoulder. "This isn't _actually_ a surprise to you, is it?"

Hei looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "It was just a couple of times. We were careful. She was _asleep_."

"Hei," Amber said slowly. "Your sister sleeps _all the time_. Her body won't let her get eight hours more at night on top of her remunerations. Don't tell me you didn't realize that."

"I –" His roiling unease was rapidly coalescing in anger. At who or what remained to be seen.

"One time, she woke up halfway through, got out of bed, and walked away," Amber informed him helpfully.

The look on his face said his erection had never wilted as fast as the one he'd been hiding earlier did right now.

"I didn't realize."

"Well, I guess you were pretty preoccupied with my body..." She rested her head in one hand and raised an unimpressed eyebrow. "Really, though? Given how often you wake up from nightmares yourself, I would've thought I was the only one of us out of the loop on the local nightlife. What do you two _do_ all those times you're lying awake at night?"

"Mutually pretend to be asleep so we don't disturb each other, apparently."

"I meant that 'don't tell me'. Please take it all back. This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

"But _you_ did realize what was going on," Hei said darkly. "You knew and you didn't tell me."

"Obviously I realize my mistake _now_ ," Amber said dryly. "I forgot to adjust my esteem of you for the average young human man's capacity for common sense when faced with a beautiful woman willing to have a lot of sex with him."

"For crying out loud, Amber," he burst out. To his credit, he adjusted his volume within three syllables. He dragged a hand down his face and sat down hard on the tarp floor of the tent, visibly struggling to reign in his temper. "My goddamn sister heard us have sex."

"She's a Contractor. She doesn't care. Trust me on that one."

" _I_ care! Why would you go along with not touching in front of Pai anyway if you knew she knew and didn't think she cared?"

"Because that's what _you_ did. It was a courtesy to you." Normally little gestures like that were enough to mollify him, but not today. "Look, it's not like any of us really think you want to fuck _Pai_ , alright? Sometimes a joke is just a joke."

"That's not the point and you know it."

Amber rolled her eyes. "Humans."

"Contractors," Hei spat.

It was almost like they were a normal couple having a normal lover's quarrel. First time for everything, Amber supposed.

"Now who's gonna work the kinks out of my back?" she said with an exaggerated pout.

"Nobody," he all but snarled.

"Oh, getting territorial now, are we?"

"If I find you having sex with other men I'm never touching you again. That was the deal, remember?"

Amber rolled onto her back and stretched with a self-indulgent groan, arms over her head, the sheet sliding halfway down her thighs and her nipples pebbling in the cool evening air.

"Sure. _Having sex._ But we weren't having sex. Hm, let's see..." she said, one hand lowering to tap at her chin and the other trailing down to her breast. "Teal may not have your thing about rope climbing, but I'm sure with an ability like that he's got nice strong hands too..."

In a flash Hei was on top of her, pinning her wrists above her head _hard_ , as if to tell her no, his hands were the only ones strong enough. His eyes were blue and dark.

Amber smiled, pleased as punch. "Really? What if someone _does_ walk in on us having sex?"

"It's not sex, it's putting a couple extra kinks in your back."

"You're so easy to rile up," she said fondly. "Not that I don't love messing with you like this, but try not to let anyone get to you when it counts, alright?"

"Sure," he said, and kissed her hard.


End file.
